Story: The Sound of One Critic Clapping

Image courtesy of Flickr.

Another ruddy Friday night, another trip to the Viaduct Theatre to review a show. This time it was Neil Labute’s “Bash,” a play (actually an anthology of three one-act monologue plays) I was unfamiliar with by a playwright I outgrew about five years ago. I’m at the point with Labute where I’ve basically formed my opinion of him, and by extension any production of his plays before I’ve even seen them. Jaded much?

A Trip Downtown

I’ve been a little out of the loop recently, having just gotten a new job and moved all of my shit from northern Japan to the greater Tokyo metropolis area.   Today’s article isn’t only an update on my life, it’s a take on big city life in general.  Some of you out there may live in big cities and know what I’m talking about when I say it’s not all fun and games.  Still, others of you may not believe me—those who live in little Podunk shit towns.  “Whaaaat?  Skelly, you live in a foreign country in one of the biggest cities in the world, and you’re not out shooting pool and doing coke with Ken Watanabe?”

Cherry Blossoms

Spring has finally arrived.  The snow has melted and we’re shedding our winter jackets for band T-shirts and those god-awful bicycle shorts.  Love is in the air, mosquitos are at large, you’re popping Allegra-D by the handful, and that pesky kid next door is already conning you out of ten bucks to mow your lawn.  It’s totally that time of year again—and our favorite.

The Very Hard Difficulty in God of War 2

Kratos about to wreak some vigilante justice

Kratos descended from the heavens last month and delivered another brutal entry into the God of War series with its third installment.  At least I heard it was brutal.  I do not own a PS3 and have yet to play it.But, oh god, how I want to play it!  I enjoyed the first game immensely and flew through the second one enjoying every moment (though that game had its fair share of problems when compared to the perfect first game).  According to a review I read of God of War 3, it is the most brutal game of the three.  Specifically, the review mentioned a battle that has a very Irreversible (One of Gaspar Noe’s if-you-watch-this-your-life-may-be-destroyed movies) ending.  In Irreversible, a man is killed via repeated bludgeons to the head with a fire extinguisher.  If you look up Irreversible on IMDB, one of its “plot keywords” says just that: “fire extinguisher smashing face”.  Irreversible is the only movie with that keyword, which saddens me every time I think of it.  Some nights before I fall asleep, all I can see in my head is that crushed skull.

New Super Mario Bros. is Chaos

“Let’s go!” goes Mario, Luigi and two color-coded toadstools’ rallying cry (is this right?) into adventure in the latest Mario installment, New Super Mario Bros. on Wii.  The world’s most famous, most Italian* plumber returns yet again to give the privileged class the middle finger with his drug-fueled jumping and scatological love of going deep inside (usually magical) sewer systems.   This time, however, he does it simultaneously, with up to three buddies.

Essay: On punkplay at Pavement Group

The characters of punkplay, written by Gregory Moss and presented by Pavement Group, have discovered punk music ten years too late.  They are loud, determined, lost, and cruel to each other.  And they reminded me of a paper I once wrote.

Basically, I’m jealous that I wasn’t a part of this production.  I would’ve been a kick-ass dramaturg.

This paper was originally called “Kick Out Your Feelings and Dance the Dance of Anger: Whirlwind Hardcore in the Early Nineteen-Eighties.”

Story: Japanese Porn

No one under 18 permitted. Violators will be punched by Spiderman.

Alright, let’s get Japanese porn out of the way.  When you write for a site of this candor, you gotta start from the dumpster and work your way clean.  Unfortunately for my credentials as a journalist, this might be the only article of mine you’ll ever read.  This may be my legacy.  When I die, if I’m remembered at all, it’ll probably be for this.  Sad news, but if that’s the way it’s gonna be I might as well have fun with it.  Here’s some fun to start out with:

Review: Marked Men, Ghosts

Let me confess before I begin: I think The Marked Men are the best band of this young century. On certain days, I think they are the greatest band to have ever existed. They could have released a garden hose and I would have called it the first cumming of Christ.

Post-Show: Epic Proportions

Here’s my problem with Project 891’s production of Epic Proportions, recently closed (thus making this review woefully obsolete) at Chemically Imbalanced Comedy: I had to go by myself.  The person I was supposed to go with ditched me the day before, and I don’t have enough real friends to have been able to find a replacement to go with me.  I “know” plenty of people in Chicago, but in reality I am that geek alone in the corner of a room full of 2.8 million cool kids.  I usually hang out with my roommates.  Why didn’t I just take one of them?  Because they’re both actors and they’re both in shows right now.  One of them is playing James Dean in a show about Marlon Brando.  We already saw that one.  The other roommate is in this show.  This show.  And I really couldn’t ask him to sit next to me in the audience in between his scenes, now, could I?

Comedy: The Apocalypse

Hey, everybody!  How y’all doing?  My name is Collin A. Bullock and I’ll admit, I am just tickled pink (and a few other colors, if you catch my drift) to be here today.  So, sit down, and pour yourself a nice glass of lemonade and help yourself to some chicken.  It’s from Popeye’s.  You know, has Popeye’s ever gotten anyone’s order right?  They always forget to give you biscuits, or they give you green beans when you SPECIFICALLY ask for corn on the cob.  Hmm.  I’m writing a letter to Reader’s Digest about this.